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Where have I been and where am I headed?

April 1, 2021

We may earn money or products from the companies mentioned in this post.

Hi, I’m Margot and I’m ready to share some shit!

Hi friends, I know it been far too long between blog posts. Like many of us, the challenges presented in the past year has given me pause to reassess a lot of aspects of my life. But in my case my crash course into this actually began a full year before the pandemic with my breast reduction in March 2019 and then followed 6 months later with a cross country move that involved being scammed by our moving company. Our social distancing and isolation began months before it hit everyone else but it gave us a head start on how to handle it, which is a slight silver lining.

{ This is a long read, so feel free to skip to whichever portion you’re most interested in, but I’m laying everything bare here so you can see where I’ve been, where I am now and where I’m headed. }

Where I was…

The full silver lining is that all these huge life changes presented themselves to me before a global pandemic gobsmacked us all and it gave me time and clarity to see that how I was working wasn’t working.

I began blogging 9 years ago and it became my full time job 7 years ago after I was laid off unceremoniously from a shop I’d been managing. I had been suffering from a lot of chronic pain and was also dealing with a pretty bad depression that kicked off after my best friend had passed away that was only exacerbated by losing my job.

I was in so much physical and emotional pain that I couldn’t get another job and ended up talking to my partner to see if making a go at this whole professional blogger thing was realistic. It allowed me to set my own hours, work from home and get the rest I needed, especially on low spoon days. I worked hard at gaining a community and audience and thought sponsorships were not far off, but they never really were.

I ended up learning about affiliate sales and started down that path which generated enough revenue to keep me hopeful and optimistic but nothing really lucrative. I kept spinning my wheels to get ahead but I didn’t seem to gain much traction.

Cute selfie series from our wee dark Vancouver garden suite in 2017

While I was spinning those wheels I got so focused on making money and proving I was worthy of being self employed I lost sight of what my original intent was with starting this blog, which was sharing aspects of my life with likeminded individuals. Making sales goals with my affiliate programs took over most of my thoughts and efforts, hoping that at some point I’d prove myself worthy of paid sponsorships with these brands that would somehow validate me in this career path.

I learned about pitching brands, rate cards, media kits, plugins, analytics, SEO, keywords, everything that goes on in the back end of blogging that gets hidden by our glossy product that everyone ends up seeing once we put it out into the world.

Just me chillin in Meanie Manor Nouveau (aka, our Montreal apartment)

I tried and I learned and I failed and I tried harder and learned more and failed harder. It was exhausting and causing stress related health issues as well as beating me up mentally. I’d get low balled on campaigns where I knew how much one of my contemporaries was offered that at the time had a similar presence as I did and I was being offered thousands more than I was (I was offered $400, them $2600).

What came apparent to me was that I’m too edgy for mainstream brands and not hardcore enough for alternative brands. I’m the forever awkward middle child that doesn’t really fully fit one category over the other and it left me out of consideration for most projects. In all of this I was so focused on me being the wrong fit and unworthy that I forgot about all of you, about our relationship and how I was looking in the wrong direction to measure my worth.

I had gotten so far off course focusing on brands that I forgot about what brought me to be online and visible to begin with, our relationship. Our connection. Our seeing ourselves in each other and celebrating being the odd duck out because we LIKE being unique and different and ~weird~! We just didn’t have anyone online that looked like us as validation or sometimes permission to be our full wonderfully weird selves!

The Meanie’s leaving Vancouver

So after leaving our home, friends and family, after the moving company scammed us, after my body healed from surgery, I still needed to step back and heal a few more things. Like my relationship to social media, address my stress levels and heal my gut from stress related ulcers and acid reflux. Heal my relationship with my own self image and ego. It was some deep shadow work that took up everything in me.

I gave myself my first Montreal winter off to figure things out and when spring came I’d pick up the parts of my job I loved and pick up some new things I had been too scared to do and I planned to launch a brand! FUN! ……but then the pandemic took hold and made me pause again. At least now I was more versed in the quiet time to contemplate and realized I was still going after things all wrong. The brand I had planned was ambitious and was going to land me straight back into a level of stress that my body cannot handle.

Boop!

Where I am…

So with all that extra time on ALL our hands and the quiet it supplied, I kept listening to my instincts and inner self and the deep cravings I’ve had to make something tangible with my hands. I wanted to cut out the brands and all the outside distractions and make something with my hands and heart that I could offer to you directly.

Ultimately that’s what I have wanted more than anything for years now. I just didn’t know how.

So I decided to lean into my crafty life and try some new mediums that seemed too scary and advanced for me before. I’ve always been surrounded by extremely talented, skilled and trained artists. So I have also suffered greatly from imposter syndrome to the point that I’d stop myself from even trying a medium because I had friends that did it better than I could ever dream. Y’all, that’s some bullshit and it was me directly getting in my own way! (Shadow work FTW being able to recognize this and be defiant of it *high fives*)

I’m 90% sure I’m just a ghost at this stage…anyone else vibe like that?

In Canada many of were given the Canadian Emergency Response Benefit, which equated to $2000 a month for the first few months of the pandemic. I’m not ashamed to admit to took advantage of this benefit as I was in the exact situation it was made to help with. So I took that money and invested it in procuring art supplies, things I always considered frivolous of me to spend on before but knew now it was what I needed to get myself set up to create a brand that was everything I dreamed of.

Where I’m headed…

As a result, I have launched my new endeavour, Moon Babe Shop! A place where I make magical goods for your home, herb and altar and I can’t tell you how satisfying and joyful this experience has been!

Planchette art hanging I created in the winter
Sun catcher I completed for a recent shop updates!

I’ve been honing my skills and incorporating different mediums and ideas, finding the products that bring both you and I the most joy. I’m expanding what I offer by bringing in new ideas, new crafts, new collaborations, and eventually new merch!

Moon Babe Shop (that’s the ig link 😉) is checking all the boxes I’ve craved for a very long time and I can see exactly how I want to grow it in a way that that still encompasses some of the products I wanted to launch with the first incarnation of the brand I had planned but still allows me to keep our relationship at the forefront while utilizing the skills I’ve learned over my time blogging. I feel extremely privileged to create tangible magical things with my own hands and maintain a pace that is not overwhelming to my mental health or squashing creative impulses.

In conclusion

While I’m no longer making shopping guides or YouTube videos (I kinda glossed over my relationship with YouTube, but it wasn’t healthy, some people overstepped boundaries etc and I’ve unlisted many of my videos) or acting as an ~influencer~ on my Instagram account, I AM still maintaining my Facebook page and group. I’m still using Instagram, but more out of self expression than trying to sell you on things from other places. I’m still updating my Amazon recommendation pages (I have a Canadian one now too!) and still sharing cool shit I find on Etsy and elsewhere online, I’m just doing it more authentically than I have in the past and not stressing about hitting sales goals. But your continued use of any of my affiliate links does help me continue to grow Moon Babe Shop as it allows me to purchase supplies and eventually launch the merch component of my brand.

Just a Moon Babe being a Moon Babe 🌙🖤😉

I’m in a pretty decent place now and I have a lot of challenges and quiet time to thank for getting me here, but most of all I have to thank you. Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for interacting with me and each other in spaces I’ve created. Thank you for following me on Moon Babe and purchasing my wares. Thank you for your trust and belief in me over the past 9 years!

I may be done with professional blogging, but I’m leaving room for the possibility of coming back to content creation, however it may manifest itself in the future. And I look forward to having a much more healthy and authentic relationship with social media and most importantly with you!

Thanks for reading! ✨💋🖤🌿✨

  • Reply
    Lisa W
    April 1, 2021 at 2:49 pm

    So much love 💕

  • Reply
    Ashley Klein
    April 1, 2021 at 3:17 pm

    You are an amazing beautiful person and I am so blessed to have joined your community! Thank you! 💜💜💜

  • Reply
    Natasha
    April 1, 2021 at 3:50 pm

    You’re awesome, just keep being you. Enjoy this new experience and have fun.

  • Reply
    Holly, random stranger
    April 1, 2021 at 4:08 pm

    Yassss go you!!! I so relate to being (as I like to say) too square for the freaks and too freaky for the squares. We’re all complex complicated people and I bet there are lots more of us who don’t fit neatly into boxes than the sponsors realize! Way to do the work and follow your intuition 💕💕💕

  • Reply
    Jenna
    April 1, 2021 at 8:15 pm

    Love ya Margo! I will always follow any endeavor you choose. You are my hero, best of luck and bright blessings.

  • Reply
    Kat Mallow
    April 1, 2021 at 11:47 pm

    I’m so glad to hear you are in a good place now, you’ve always been such an inspiration and deserve to enjoy what you are doing rather than struggling through it. x

  • Reply
    Lisa
    April 2, 2021 at 8:51 am

    I found your YouTube channel right before the “scammed by the moving a-hole trash-piles” video came out. I am sorry you went through so much adversity. I am in support of what ever makes you healthy and whole. Though I will miss you on YouTube, I am glad you are finding projects that feed your spirit. Take care of you! <3

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