PLUS SIZE LIFE | Reclaiming The Word “Fat”

You know, when I started on this blogging journey 4 years ago { omg, my 4 year anniversary is actually in just a couple days } I had no idea where it would take me. Honestly, documenting my plus size wardrobe was just a part of my plan, I never imagined it would become my focus. I was ever cautious in how I approached the way in which I displayed myself online to the public, wary of reblogging photos of food on my tumblr, careful of all of my wording on every post or comment, taken aback when I’d be confronted with the word “fat”.

Now, let’s be clear, as much of a “good fatty” I was attempting to be online, I wasn’t in real life. I made fat jokes of myself in non self deprecating ways, I celebrated all the foods I loved { like for real, I have a tattoo of breakfast on me! }, I embraced the fact that I’d never be thin and committed to being the “chubby” girl I was.  { eyeroll, I ain’t chubby, but bless me for my youthful euphemisms }

Fat Brats | Natalie of NatalieMeansNice, Alysse of ReadyToStare, Me, and Corissa of FatGirlFlow

The two sides of me were at war, I wanted to be approachable and liked online, I didn’t want trolls to come after me, I was guarded and intimidated by putting myself out there in this way. { funny that I was so nervous, yet years before had an active profile on suicide girls and was a hopeful, well, before that was even a term, I’m talkin’ OLD SCHOOL SG, haha } But one of the things I was steadfast against was thinking I’d ever come to embrace the word “fat”, never mind, wear a “fat Bitch” shirt with three other rad AF babes across the entrance to New York Fashion Week.

But the longer I existed in this space, and focused on plus size fashion, the more exposed I was to literature, and random tumblr thoughts, fb discourse came a general awakening to what the fuck was going on. And a realization of wanting to be part of the demolition team.

Fat Brats at NYFW | @nataliemeansnice, @margotmeanie, @readytostare, @fatgirlflowMargot Meanie Plus Size Style for Edgy Women

I also found that being “good fatty” me was EXHAUSTING. And disingenuous. I wasn’t being truthful with y’all. But I slowly started to unravel my feelings around the word. No, fat does not mean gross, or slovenly. No, it does not mean dumb, slack jawed, or smelly. Fat was just a descriptive word for my body. And seeing it being used to mean all those other things started to make me MAD, like FURIOUS. So mad, that I asked myself “why the fuck are you trying so hard to be likable? Why are you being a fake you online and not sharing who you truly are. Why are you not taking back that word and redefining it, not only for you, but anyone that might listen”

So I embraced it. I took it back.

I use it in positive and neutral ways. I do it often, both on my digital platforms and in my personal life. I do it casually and sometimes with EMPHASIS. And when I get someone that takes me to the side and says “don’t say that about yourself” I have a very real discussion with them about what fat means to them, and then I dismantle it and tell them what it means to me.

Margot Meanie Plus Size Style for Edgy Women Margot Meanie Plus Size Style for Edgy WomenMargot Meanie and Fat Girl Flow

Buy the shirt here { also available in white on black or as a pin! }

Fat is my body, fat is a community I have found. Fat is delicious { when I cook, but you know, in bed too 😉 }, fat are these babes that I would have never met without unlearning harmful lessons society has pushed on me about my body. Fat has given me my voice, a platform and a passion.

I use Plus Size freely, because it is the most useful descriptor for us to commonly find clothing and fashion made for us, but Fat is political, it’s freeing and confrontational.

In the great words of Tyrion Lannister { yesss, I’m nerdily quoting GoT, but you already knew I was nerdy like that }

“Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you.”

By taking back, redefining and embracing this word, it can NEVER be used to harm me.

And this here is my greatest wish for all of us. The realization that this word cannot be used against us. That every time someone angrily thrusts “FAT BITCH ” at us for some dumb reason, it won’t hurt, it’ll be amusing, it’ll be LAUGHABLE. They literally have no other ground to try to cut you down than make a juvenile comment on your or my body, “Sorry buddy, but you lose!”. When someone whispers, “no one wants to see your back fat” I loudly retort, “no one wants to see your shitty attitude either, so I guess everyone is losing today”, or some just plain blurts “you’re fat” and I reply “yeah, and?” and I watch their faces fall, because they have NOTHING left, that was their power move to try and bring me down. It’s pretty fucking incredible to see them lose what they thought to be their finishing move.

Weak move bro, let me slay you now.

Only those I hold value in their opinions hold any power over me, anyone that uses fat as an insult holds no power.

Margot Meanie at New York Fashion Week Margot Meanie at New York Fashion Week

photos by Rochelle Brock

I’m happy those days of trying to please are over, because there is nothing more freeing than showing who you are and seeing that people like the real you better! The real me happens to be brassy, fat, goofy, and affectionate and so many other things.

These photos are form my first day attending New York Fashion Week, if you’d like to see how the rest of my trip went down, then check out my travel vlog!

♥ As always, if you like it, share it! And please, support the links that support this blog!  ♥

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5 Comments

  1. 1

    YES! When I first saw those shirts I thought “oh no”….”I could never” that is what my brain sent me…and I thought WHY NOT? Why??? “You are fat, but you shouldn’t celebrate that”, “Don’t be so mean to yourself”. I am sure you have heard ridiculous things rattle around your brain as well. this post gives me hope. “Bitch? You should never…..” and “Fat Bitch??? No! honey…” but why not? Why shouldn’t I take those words tossed at me with spittle shooting from ugly lips and wear it with pride? Why can’t I be a Fat Bitch who Rocks this world? A larger than life woman who can be kind, compassionate and kill you where you stand if you hurt anyone around me? If that makes me a Fat Bitch, then so be it. I am a warrior woman and a Fat Bitch. Bring it on! (Thank you again for another post to remind me I am FAB however I am). Fat is just 3 letters stuck together and normal is a setting on my dryer.

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