outfit + life | back to basics

Hey loves,

I have a confession; I fucked up.

I have been a bad blogger and I basically fell off the face of the earth, well, kinda. I was still updating my instagram, but not with my normal content or gusto. And I would pop into snapchat every once in a while, mostly to lurk and occasionally to speak. But it’s been much less than usual.

I have been in a FUNK and not just a normal funk, but a capitalized F-U-N-K!! I have been working and working in one direction for a while thinking I was on the right path, only to realise the further I was digging this tunnel, the less happy I was.  It’s taken me far too long to admit it. It’s almost like in my mind if I admitted being wrong, I would lose the whole game, but guess what?! There is no game to lose, only me, doing my thang and you lovely people who find interest in it.

I just kept chugging along like everything was fine, trying to be the best blogger version of me I could possibly be, until I just didn’t have it in me to scrape another weekly feature post together. I was trying to squeeze my ample self into this little blogger box and it wasn’t fitting, big surprise!

Back to Basics | margot meanie, plus size style

top – forever 21 US & Can | skirt { old } – torrid { similar }

You see, I LOVE blogging, this is my main hustle and a hustle I love to it’s bones, while I do have a few side hustles to keep me afloat, but this is my baby. I put a LOT of energy into this here blog and I have often felt like I need to “prove myself”, but what am I proving to myself exactly? I don’t know. But I do know that many avenues I’ve been taking have not been making me happy. If you are a blogger than you know that if you google how to be a successful blogger that CONSISTENCY IS NUMBER 1, only problem, I’ve never been consistent with anything in my entire life. I have also never been one to follow rules very well.

As I tried to force myself into my little blogger box with weekly features keeping me on track to be CONSISTANT, but the pressure of a deadline does not work wonders on me, in fact, it does the opposite and I rebel and push away { ask my friends that tried to get me involved in a book club }  I truly embody the saying “DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”. And so I would dawdle on my tasks and halfheartedly put something out.

Now that’s just not fair to you and it’s no fun for me, so why was I doing it? I guess because “proving myself” in some way meant showing that I could be a blogger like other bloggers are bloggers { hahaha, that sentence, my GAWD! }. So what do I do when I know I’m wrong and don’t want to fess up to it yet? I turtle, that’s right kids, I hide in my shell and avoid life hoping that’ll it’ll all blow over. But guess what, this is life and I can’t be a turtle and I have to admit my faults. I am not like other bloggers, I am me and honestly, would you be following me if I were just like other bloggers? Isn’t that the beauty of following bloggers, to see life from different perspectives? No two bloggers are the same, but yet I was putting a set of rules on myself to be a boss blogger and I lost myself.

Back to Basics | margot meanie, plus size styleBack to Basics | margot meanie, plus size style

Now that’s not to say everything I’ve posted over the last few months has been a lie { it’s not }. It more just means that I’m unhappy with my workflow and I need to reassess how I approach my work. I want what you see here to be things I’m super stoked about writing. I want you to be as excited to stop by for a visit as I was putting my posts together.

So I’m going back to basics, I’m going back to posting when I feel the urge and not getting it ready and slotting it for say, next Tuesday. Because you gotta know the truth, when I write a post, I wanna hit ‘publish’ SO SO SO BAD! Hitting ‘schedule’ is not nearly as satisfying.  And I WANT that satisfaction!

So no more weekly treats. No more scheduled posts unless I bang out two in one day, but honestly, what’s the harm in putting out two at once? y’all come visit me when you can, those links aren’t going anywhere.

This doesn’t mean I’m entirely giving up on Friday Favs or Caturday, it just means they will no longer be a scheduled item I feel like they MUST GET DONE or I’m fired. Instead, I’ll post them when they seem relevant. I have so many ideas chugging around in my noggin at all times and then I think, “when am I gonna get this in my schedule? it just doesn’t fit” which is crushing my joy and that’s no fun for anyone!

So this is me back to basics, posting about whatever I want, whenever I want. I hope you stick with me as I refigure out what my happiness is, which is gonna be clothes, makeup, self care and style crushes. Some weeks I’ll may post three times, others only once, but every single one of them will be riddled with love and enthusiasm!

Back to Basics | margot meanie, plus size stylemake up: lips –  coloupop ‘avenue‘, eyes: water line colourpop gel creme liner in ‘exit‘, shadows: Meet Matt(e) Trimony matte eyeshadow from my ipsy subscriptions, and ‘bubbly’ from my Stila ‘in the light‘ palette, eyeliner by Illamasqua precision ink in ‘abyss’ 

Oh Oh Oh!! This post also acts as the debut of my new short hair! Yet another thing I was in denial of. I had been growing out my hair for about a year with minor snips to clean up the back of give it a better shape. It had been slowly growing into a short frizzy bob for ages and never hitting a stage that made me happy. You know how when you grow out your hair and it hits stages you love and then you get another awkward phase that you grimace through and then, all of a sudden you dig it for a while again, yeeeah, that wasn’t happening for me, like ever! I had been growing out my hair because the last time I got it long, I was in my mid twenties and I COMMITED to it. But I was also colouring my hair black most of the time, which makes it infinitely more easy to grow when it’s dark as opposed to bleaching and changing colours as often as I like. So with me admitting my faults with how I was blogging a hair cut came hand in hand. Short hair makes me happy, so I went back to it! Just like blogging, I’m doing the parts I like that make me happy which really means, no schedule!

As I said, everything is back to basics, even this outfit! A simple striped boat neck top, with a charcoal grey mini bandage skirt that I’ve had kicking around for ages.

It’s simple, it’s easy, it’s monochromatic, it’s me!

kitty signature

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7 Comments

  1. 1

    Good to see your face!
    Putting yourself first is key. If it’s not bringing you joy then what is it for? Plus it’ll be content you really love and will be more engaging for your readers. Win win!
    Keep up the good work, however long it might take to come!

  2. 2
  3. 3

    I so hear you on this. I also had my second blog freak out this year and realized that the changes I’d made after my first big blog freakout were actually making me super unhappy. So yeah. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should and shouldn’t blog. Blog for you and the rest will follow. Also, I love your short hair. I am so tempted to back to super short hair (this heat wave will be the death of me).

    • 4

      Yeah,Mathis was basically blog crisis number two for me this year too. I even did my r adders survey to try and figure shit out. I think relieving myself from unnecessary, self imposed pressure will make me infinitely happier. I already feel better about everything, both blog and hair!!

  4. 5

    Firstly, you look amazing. Secondly, I’m just the same – I put pressure on myself and make myself miserable allll the time. Here’s to going with the flow! <3

  5. 6

    You have to put you first, there’s no point trying to squeeze yourself into a mold just because someone else says it’s what you have to do. If you’re happy and passionate about what you’re putting out into the world then we will be happy to read it regardless of how often it comes out. Go with the flow and find the joy again. <3

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